Speak Your Truth
Have you ever been blindsided by some feedback, requested or otherwise, that was completely unexpected? Perhaps feedback that tipped you off your center? This recently happened to me twice in the same week.
Not all feedback is going to be what we “want” to hear but it does not mean we “shouldn’t” hear it. The first feedback I received was an email from a reader that started with “Shame on you Mr. Stein.” This reader felt that an article I wrote about getting caught up with work and resisting time with my daughter was appalling. After my first gut reaction, which was to defend my point, I found myself sitting with what the reader had said and was able to digest the email. I saw that, for me, there was nothing to justify and I let it go.
Yesterday, however, was a bit different. I received an email from a reader at Ameriprise Financial. He shared a valid concern about last week’s MMM titled “Neuro-Forecasting”. After reading the email, I immediately saw his point of view and realized that nowhere in the article had I discussed how the lecture at Ameriprise inspired me. The Trainer, at that lecture, spoke of Moral Intelligence and the importance of helping clients understand emotional decision-making. What I neglected to include in that MMM was the acknowledgement of that company's sense of responsibility to educate their staff, clients and their community. This lecture actually stimulated further thinking on my part in neuro-topics that lead me to writing that MMM.
I must admit I felt heartsick for quite a while as I sat at a blank email screen wondering how to accurately respond in a way that would express my sense of embarrassment as well as my gratitude for the courage it took to share this feedback. This invaluable feedback, however hard it was to hear, inspired me to see where I missed the mark.
The workplace is a ripe place for giving and receiving feedback. The lesson I learned this week is two fold. First, we often miss the opportunity for contribution by choosing not to provide constructive feedback out of fear of making waves or being misunderstood. And second, we can continue to cultivate an inner awareness and openness to receive what we may not “want” to hear in an effort to hear some vital truth. Not doing either can lead to layers of resistance in your working environment and cause huge communication breakdowns.
Monday Mindfulness
Notice where you’re resisting either giving or receiving constructive feedback with someone in your community and make a step to give or receive in an open and connected way.
Mindful Offerings
February 26th, 2007 at 10:31 am
Thanks for those thoughts Jason! You hit right-on-the-head the piece about the uncomfortable feelings of embarrasement, and then gratitude. It’s always focusing on that gratitude that seems to move things forward, that makes it feel like a good loving humble thing to do. We all have been in similar situations, and hopefully the person we are expressing this to will relate, and will do the same when it happens to them. It would and does to me.
Even though it’s all been said before and even if we know these truths…it’s always good to hear and be reminded regularly.
March 3rd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Jason,
I want to thank you for being transparent with those in your email community. Transparency of our mistakes, brokenness, and “sins,” keeps us real, prevents us from becoming hypocrites, and opens us to incredible opportunity for growth and sanctification. You are better because of your “mistakes.” How cool is that? We get to live in a world where even our mistakes can be used to our benefit! Wow! Jason, thanks for opening a potentially painful or embarrassing window into your life so that we all can learn and grow from it. That is true self-sacrifice.
Bless you!